My name is Lila and I’m married to James. We are hoping to adopt again.
I have written and rewritten this and feel like a used car salesman. I am not a salesman. So, I’m taking a deep breath and trying a different approach. I’m imagining what I would tell you if you were sitting on my front porch with me.
Our story began 11 years ago. James and I met at a party where he asked for my phone number and then never called. We ran into each other again socially and I gave him the cold shoulder. He apologized and confessed that he couldn’t call me because he didn’t own a phone. I asked him why he even asked for my number if there was no way he could call me. He said he wanted me to know he was interested in me. And that is a perfect example of the charm that is James.
After some begging on his part I finally agreed to go on a date with him. We went to dinner, played cards, and talked for hours. I am quite reserved by nature but I wasn’t with James. I felt comfortable with him-like I had always known him. We were engaged three months later and married five months after that.
James is the complete opposite of me. He is an outgoing, laid back, life of the party type guy. He is funny and has a great laugh. James enjoys barbecuing, playing pool and watching football. He has a kind, generous heart and loves his family. He is one of the hardest working people I know and provides a good life for his family. He stays busy with his company which is his other baby. James hopes to buy some property at the lake in the near future so we can spend time unwinding and creating new traditions for our family.
As noted above, I am pretty reserved until I get to know someone. I would much rather be in a small group setting than a large party. I love to read and laugh. I am currently a stay at home Mom who wants to do a good job raising my kids and finish college on the side. I am also in the beginning stages of a running program and I hope to be able to run a 5K in October or die trying. My family is my greatest priority and greatest blessing. I enjoy being the memory maker for my kids. Things like baking cookies and playing games with them bring me much happiness.
James and Lila
Hello
Thanks for stopping by. If you are an expectant mother or father contemplating adoption please read more about us below.
If you are a friend or family member of someone considering adoption please send them here.
We are a family created by adoption and are hoping for a baby to complete our family. You can contact us at anytime. Drop us a note at jamesandlila@live.com
If you are a friend or family member of someone considering adoption please send them here.
We are a family created by adoption and are hoping for a baby to complete our family. You can contact us at anytime. Drop us a note at jamesandlila@live.com
Our journey to family
We always wanted a family and hoped to start ours right after our wedding. A year later found us with the “infertile” label. It was heartbreaking for us. Suddenly our hopes and dreams and plans for the future were blurred and didn’t look like they had just a year earlier. We’ve definitely had our challenges but now that we’re on the other side of it, we wouldn’t change a thing. After all, not everyone gets to create a family through adoption and to us, that is a sacred experience.
I’ve often thought about those dismal days of infertility. The thing that got me the most was that I had no control over anything. I could want babies all day long but that did not change the fact that I couldn’t have babies. That was hard to accept. I wonder if my children’s birth mothers had similar feelings. They couldn’t control their fertility either. And no matter how very much they wanted to parent their children it did not change their situation. They too must have felt little control over that time in their life. And that’s the thing about humanity, we’re more alike than we are different. Our situations may be different but we all want the same things (essentially), we all cry, we all dream, we all do the best we can.
While James and I have been married we’ve had some amazing times. We’ve watched James’ company grow from a small one man operation to a very successful, very busy company employing other people and looking to expand. We purchased our first home together, took a few trips, and spent many years of quality time together. Adopting our three children has been our greatest achievement. We are thankful every day for the opportunity to have them in our lives and to be able to raise them.
Gracie is our oldest. She is 8 and going into the third grade. She is very much a girly-girl but the awesome thing about her is that she can get as rough as the boys-she definitely holds her own. She enjoys sports, ballet, gymnastics, and any kind of craft project. She is a wonderful big sister and is so helpful and loving with her younger brothers. Gracie and I are about to embark on a cheerleading adventure together. I am coaching her squad which is laughable if you knew me in real life. I think it will be a fun bonding experience and will make some good memories for the two of us.
Next in line is Samuel. He is 6 and going into first grade. Samuel is all boy. He is very loud and very high energy. He does well in school but would rather be playing. He is a typical middle child and possesses a sensitive soul with a tendency to be a Mama's boy (which I love). Samuel, like Gracie, is athletic. He loves playing sports. Samuel is very protective of the underdogs in life. He dreams of being a superhero someday but he already is one in my book. I have no doubt he can do anything he puts his mind too.
Samuel and Gracie have a very close bond. They are biological cousins and went through a lot together in Haiti. Their adoption was long and drawn out and drama filled. The day they stood on American soil holding my hand was one of the happiest days of my life.
Jeremiah is our youngest at the age of 5. He was our surprise adoption. We found out about him at 6 in the morning and he was in our home that same afternoon. Jeremiah is a whirlwind, just like his arrival into our family. He is a happy, fun loving little boy who lives life with complete abandon-like it was meant to be lived. Jeremiah is OBSESSED with Lightning McQueen from the Cars movie. He’s already requested a Cars themed birthday party this year which he will get. Call me a sucker but I just can’t resist those big, beautiful, oreo eyes of his.
I’ve often thought about those dismal days of infertility. The thing that got me the most was that I had no control over anything. I could want babies all day long but that did not change the fact that I couldn’t have babies. That was hard to accept. I wonder if my children’s birth mothers had similar feelings. They couldn’t control their fertility either. And no matter how very much they wanted to parent their children it did not change their situation. They too must have felt little control over that time in their life. And that’s the thing about humanity, we’re more alike than we are different. Our situations may be different but we all want the same things (essentially), we all cry, we all dream, we all do the best we can.
While James and I have been married we’ve had some amazing times. We’ve watched James’ company grow from a small one man operation to a very successful, very busy company employing other people and looking to expand. We purchased our first home together, took a few trips, and spent many years of quality time together. Adopting our three children has been our greatest achievement. We are thankful every day for the opportunity to have them in our lives and to be able to raise them.
Gracie is our oldest. She is 8 and going into the third grade. She is very much a girly-girl but the awesome thing about her is that she can get as rough as the boys-she definitely holds her own. She enjoys sports, ballet, gymnastics, and any kind of craft project. She is a wonderful big sister and is so helpful and loving with her younger brothers. Gracie and I are about to embark on a cheerleading adventure together. I am coaching her squad which is laughable if you knew me in real life. I think it will be a fun bonding experience and will make some good memories for the two of us.
Next in line is Samuel. He is 6 and going into first grade. Samuel is all boy. He is very loud and very high energy. He does well in school but would rather be playing. He is a typical middle child and possesses a sensitive soul with a tendency to be a Mama's boy (which I love). Samuel, like Gracie, is athletic. He loves playing sports. Samuel is very protective of the underdogs in life. He dreams of being a superhero someday but he already is one in my book. I have no doubt he can do anything he puts his mind too.
Samuel and Gracie have a very close bond. They are biological cousins and went through a lot together in Haiti. Their adoption was long and drawn out and drama filled. The day they stood on American soil holding my hand was one of the happiest days of my life.
Jeremiah is our youngest at the age of 5. He was our surprise adoption. We found out about him at 6 in the morning and he was in our home that same afternoon. Jeremiah is a whirlwind, just like his arrival into our family. He is a happy, fun loving little boy who lives life with complete abandon-like it was meant to be lived. Jeremiah is OBSESSED with Lightning McQueen from the Cars movie. He’s already requested a Cars themed birthday party this year which he will get. Call me a sucker but I just can’t resist those big, beautiful, oreo eyes of his.
Adoption
We enjoy semi-open adoptions with all of our birth parents. It’s hard to have a typical open adoption experience when four of our birth parents live in a foreign country. We send updates and pictures every six months and hope to go back to Haiti for a visit someday. Gracie and Samuel have a half sister who lives in Oregon and we keep in close contact with her. Jeremiah’s birth mother and grandmother live in the same town we do and they requested updates and pictures every six months as well. At this time, they are not ready for visits but we hope at some point to meet Jeremiah’s biological half-sister who was born last year. We love and respect the biological families of our children. We feel like they are extended family. Very special extended family as they gave us the greatest gifts we could ever hope to receive in this life.
Our children came to us at the ages of 3, 4, and 6. Those are wonderful ages and they’re homecomings were magical to us. Yet, the fact remains, we missed out on the baby experience. We would love to be able to adopt a newborn domestically and marvel at each little milestone the baby reaches. Plus, our three kiddos REALLY want a baby and already argue over who gets to hold the baby first.
So what can we offer your child? Well, we don’t recite scripture, attend private schools, drive fancy cars, or speak softly. We do work hard, love unconditionally, forgive easily, and laugh at ourselves. James and I want our children to reach their full potential-whatever that means for each child individually. We want them to discover their talents. We want them to have morals and values and be productive members of society. We want them to be happy, feel loved and know that they were wanted before they were ever even born. We also want them to be compassionate, non-judgmental, loving individuals. (This world could use less judging and more compassion.) If we can achieve all that we will have succeeded in parenting. We’re definitely not perfect but we give it our best every single day.
I don’t know who you are or what you are going through. But I do know that you’ve been given a challenge, just like us, and I believe we can help one another. I also know that you are brave. You are full of love and courage. I know that because you are reading this and that means you are at least contemplating adoption. What lies ahead won’t be easy but as you think about what the future holds for you and your baby we hope you are given the peace, comfort, and strength you will need.
All our best to you!
Lila, James, Gracie, Samuel and Jeremiah
Our children came to us at the ages of 3, 4, and 6. Those are wonderful ages and they’re homecomings were magical to us. Yet, the fact remains, we missed out on the baby experience. We would love to be able to adopt a newborn domestically and marvel at each little milestone the baby reaches. Plus, our three kiddos REALLY want a baby and already argue over who gets to hold the baby first.
So what can we offer your child? Well, we don’t recite scripture, attend private schools, drive fancy cars, or speak softly. We do work hard, love unconditionally, forgive easily, and laugh at ourselves. James and I want our children to reach their full potential-whatever that means for each child individually. We want them to discover their talents. We want them to have morals and values and be productive members of society. We want them to be happy, feel loved and know that they were wanted before they were ever even born. We also want them to be compassionate, non-judgmental, loving individuals. (This world could use less judging and more compassion.) If we can achieve all that we will have succeeded in parenting. We’re definitely not perfect but we give it our best every single day.
I don’t know who you are or what you are going through. But I do know that you’ve been given a challenge, just like us, and I believe we can help one another. I also know that you are brave. You are full of love and courage. I know that because you are reading this and that means you are at least contemplating adoption. What lies ahead won’t be easy but as you think about what the future holds for you and your baby we hope you are given the peace, comfort, and strength you will need.
All our best to you!
Lila, James, Gracie, Samuel and Jeremiah
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